my big gay evening
So maybe I watched So You Think You Can Dance, Top Chef, and listened to the Les Miserable 10th Anniversary Concert during commercials - and any time Mary Murphy opened her mouth -tonight. Whatever. I stand by my choices. I like great dancing, delicious food, and superb music. You don’t? I digress…
First time watching So You think You Can Dance this year. I have no interest in watching the audition episodes. Bad dancing isn’t funny, it isn’t entertaining, it is just bad - and its everywhere. You don’t need to turn on the tv, you can just go to a bar/club/wedding/dance in front of the mirror.
My first impression of this year’s top 20 is a long exaggerated *sigh. First off, there’s no clinch-my-chest-and-feel-like-I-can-rip-my-heart-in-half-cute girl this year (i.e. Courtney Galiano). An attractive woman who understands the beauty of movement (and who has a dancer’s body) is the biggest turn on in the world. None of those girls turned me on…Ok, that’s not entirely true. The older one and the blonde who did the salsa showed crush potential. But none of them made me break the rewind button like previous seasons girls did.
The men also perturbed me, and it’s all that damn Brandon’s fault. It’s clear as day that the man has talent and athleticism that none of the others can match. Problem is, he has the worst kind of arrogance: Gay Cockiness. His on screen persona is a fraud. He totally lives for the finger snapping, neck cocking, “oh damnnnnnnn” bullshit. Mia Michaels saw right through his ass and she was right. He thinks he is Will, and he certainly has the ability to be him, and more, but the kid needs to become more vulnerable to reach the next level. He is just a kid though, he will get there.
Watching the show also reminded me why I never watch the damn thing live. Fuck flipping back and forth for 2 hours just to see 20 mins of actual dancing.
I don’t have much to say about Top Chef because all I can keep yelling at the screen is, “Who the hell is this NOT Padma chick!” What? Padmas busy? Top Chef is all she fucking does. Also, if you are going to replace one of the most bafflingly gorgeous women in the world, you have to do it with someone at least semi comparable. I would walk right by this girl if I saw her in person (sober). If I saw Padma, I wouldn’t be able to walk (sober).
And the whole listening to Les Mis thing is just something that has to happen every once in a while. Not only have its trademark characters and storyline inspired some of the best “reference” jokes of all time (Simpson, South Park, etc…). But it is probably the greatest large ensemble production of all time.
In my masculinities defense, I did also have the GameCast of the Yankees Bo Sox game up the whole time and flipped over to watch Wang get dinged again. I can’t wait to hear Bill Simmons and Jack O talk about these shellacking’s on the Sports Report PodCast (The “You Do Steroids” chant was hilarious). And, in case you haven’t noticed, Simmons is the true inspiration for this post. If you have ever read one of his 10,000 word rambling stream of conscious articles you understand.
I’ll make up for my ballroom dancing, reality tv show watching, musical theater listening filled evening by drinking whiskey and womanizing this weekend.
