Team Rick Whit

Open letter to the ex-governor

Well you have made your move Sarah, and it was a big one.  You gave up the seat you were lucky to have, and now you are out politics…

There is only one problem: The only people dumb enough to buy what you just pitched already have your t-shirt. You just made possibly the least artful, and certainly the most inarticulate power play I have ever seen.

You ditched the people who made you because the stage wasnt big enough.  You grandstanded your way out of town for personal interests and a chance at the brighter lights.   Not sure yet how that isnt, “Politics as usual.”

I guarantee I can write your “come back” speech right now with 90% accuracy.  It will be based around the victim angle.  You’ll play up your family, demonize the liberal media, and you’ll go to town on how you, “refused to be a part of wasteful government spending.”

Your kicker will be a line something like, “I gave up the job I loved, for the country I love more (insert wink here).”  Or some crock like that.  It will play in the sticks (again), and you will draw huge crowds of imbeciles (again).  Then the rational majority - armed with their dreaded books and newspapers - will have their day, and you will get crushed in the primaries.  And I, hopefully, will never have to see your two-bit salesmen’s eyes again.

As Commissioner Burrell said to Dep. Ops Rawls in The Wire, “You made your move, and you made it too early.”

6pm

8am

The Indiana Pacers are on the clock … for going bankrupt. And for making a pick. The pick? Tyler Hansbrough. That launches the N.Y. fans into an “Overrated!” frenzy. Hey, I’m excited for Indiana’s 2009-10 local marketing campaign: a photo of Troy Murphy, Mike Dunleavy, Jeff Foster, Hansbrough and Travis Diener with the UPS-like slogan, “WHAT CAN WHITE DO FOR YOU?”

- Bill Simmons

6pm

4pm

Rogue Wave - Lake Michigan

For the little bro.

9pm

10pm

Trey Band - Push On ‘Til The Day

I enjoyed rocking this at the gym tonight while I benched (Get it? Push!).  It was the least I could do considering I am boycotting Phish’s show tomorrow.

11pm

Woman illegally downloads 24 songs, fined to tune of $1.9 million

10pm

Senate approves resolution apologizing for slavery

In related headlines: Pharaoh says, “My bad” to Moses.

Spain remains “inquisitive.”

5pm

1pm

This is crazy: Sources are saying that Brittney Spears is now dating her agent…  Yup.  And in a related story, Kevin Federline is now dating his manager.  Although that is strictly against Jamba Juice policy.

- Conan

11am

Ronaldo to Real Madrid for $130M

11am

my big gay evening

So maybe I watched So You Think You Can Dance, Top Chef, and listened to the Les Miserable 10th Anniversary Concert during commercials - and any time Mary Murphy opened her mouth -tonight.  Whatever.  I stand by my choices.  I like great dancing, delicious food, and superb music.  You don’t?  I digress…

First time watching So You think You Can Dance this year.  I have no interest in watching the audition episodes.  Bad dancing isn’t funny, it isn’t entertaining, it is just bad - and its everywhere. You don’t need to turn on the tv, you can just go to a bar/club/wedding/dance in front of the mirror.

My first impression of this year’s top 20 is a long exaggerated *sigh.  First off, there’s no clinch-my-chest-and-feel-like-I-can-rip-my-heart-in-half-cute girl this year (i.e. Courtney Galiano).  An attractive woman who understands the beauty of movement (and who has a dancer’s body) is the biggest turn on in the world.  None of those girls turned me on…Ok, that’s not entirely true. The older one and the blonde who did the salsa showed crush potential.  But none of them made me break the rewind button like previous seasons girls did.

The men also perturbed me, and it’s all that damn Brandon’s fault.  It’s clear as day that the man has talent and athleticism that none of the others can match.  Problem is, he has the worst kind of arrogance: Gay Cockiness.  His on screen persona is a fraud. He totally lives for the finger snapping, neck cocking, “oh damnnnnnnn” bullshit.  Mia Michaels saw right through his ass and she was right.  He thinks he is Will, and he certainly has the ability to be him, and more, but the kid needs to become more vulnerable to reach the next level.  He is just a kid though, he will get there.

Watching the show also reminded me why I never watch the damn thing live.  Fuck flipping back and forth for 2 hours just to see 20 mins of actual dancing.

I don’t have much to say about Top Chef because all I can keep yelling at the screen is, “Who the hell is this NOT Padma chick!”  What?  Padmas busy?  Top Chef is all she fucking does.  Also, if you are going to replace one of the most bafflingly gorgeous women in the world, you have to do it with someone at least semi comparable.  I would walk right by this girl if I saw her in person (sober).  If I saw Padma, I wouldn’t be able to walk (sober).

And the whole listening to Les Mis thing is just something that has to happen every once in a while. Not only have its trademark characters and storyline inspired some of the best “reference” jokes of all time (Simpson, South Park, etc…). But it is probably the greatest large ensemble production of all time.

In my masculinities defense, I did also have the GameCast of the Yankees Bo Sox game up the whole time and flipped over to watch Wang get dinged again.  I can’t wait to hear Bill Simmons and Jack O talk about these shellacking’s on the Sports Report PodCast (The “You Do Steroids” chant was hilarious).  And, in case you haven’t noticed, Simmons is the true inspiration for this post.  If you have ever read one of his 10,000 word rambling stream of conscious articles you understand.

I’ll make up for my ballroom dancing, reality tv show watching, musical theater listening filled evening by drinking whiskey and womanizing this weekend.

12am